Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Where Do We Go From Here?


November 9th, 2016. A popular catch phrase of recent times has been "Stay Woke". Ironically enough, this phrase most notably was born out of the Black Lives Matter movement. Most ironically of all, I don't believe there is a single American sleeping through this moment in our history.

The conjecture of this whole year has been the ongoing joke of "either way we're screwed", "lesser of two evils"- etc. Yet overwhelmingly now, we have the  sentiment,

 "What happens now?"

For millions of Americans, this is not a dark day, this is a happy triumphant day. For so many others, like myself, we are struggling to find reason, purpose, and justice in what has happened.
I listen to a well-known Progressive Activist on Satellite radio almost every morning, and I could not wait to turn on the channel today. I was eagerly looking for answers, solace, and peace.
His answers to his callers who called in crying, in mourning, in pain was this: We fight. All we can do is continue to fight.

As Social Workers, we have a very unique view and reaction to things we perceive to be tragic and traumatic. There is a protocol, a treatment plan, and most importantly, a plan of action to getting through it. In that process, there are some key steps. So I put proverbial pen to paper, (in reality fingers to keyboard) to share my thoughts on the subject.

-#1: Taking Accountability.

We as a people cannot turn a blind eye to our lack of involvement in our country's election process. As so many have come out and say, we are a reactionary society. "What do you mean he got elected? How did that happen?!"

That happened because of a lack of interest and buy-in in this process beginning years ago, when people considering the presidential race were first emerging. How many of us voted in the Primary? I'll be perfectly honest I know I did not. How many even understand what would have had to happen to keep Bernie in the race? Trump passed hurdles because his supporters turned out and ensured he got there every step of the way. In truth, a lot could be learned from his conviction and persistence when half the country continuously mocked him.

-#2: As Pop says, "Always forward, never backward."

We need to think as a country of what we will be doing next. I think that is where everyone is stuck, "What now?" "What will happen?" In the upcoming weeks and months we will start to get a sense of what Trump's real plans for his presidency are, and we have to react accordingly. It is time, as we are supposed to, for us to storm our Representatives in the House as well as our local members of Congress to hold the new President to whatever standards we hold near and dear.
Have you ever written to your local Representative or Congress Member? Do you know who they are? It's time to find out.

-#3: Make Lemonade (Turning 'Negatives' Into Positives')
SUPPORT EACH OTHER.

The reality is our country is rife with unrest, racism, sexism, and inequalities; from our inner cities to our most rural suburbs. Yes, it is true, Trump won the Presidency, but what we can do right now is start championing kindness and acceptance.
We need to treat each other with respect and get to know our neighbors. We are polarized now more than we ever have been- and neither party is interested in finding out why. As we have been told for years, United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

 This is more true now than it ever has been.
This idea of Red and Blue, Good and Evil, Black and White- it is not working, nor has it ever worked for us as a country. Now more than ever we need to understand that there are countless shades in between each side. Consider for a moment that a Trump supporter doesn't necessarily equal hate towards women and Mexicans, but maybe that they wanted to elect someone who wasn't a part of the "system" and you hoped it would lead to positive change.

Everyone is shouting at the top of their lungs what they wanted, and what they think should have happened with little to no comprehension of all of the nuances therein.

This is a time to reach out, have a conversation, and delve back into education about our country, it's founding fathers, and the processes for change and innovation.

-#4: Turn This into a Teachable Moment (Learn through Understanding)

It is my sincere hope that as President of the United States we will hold Donald Trump to a standard he has never been held to. Unfortunately, as a businessman and Entrepreneur he has never had to comport himself in any particular way. We began to hold him accountable during his campaign for vulgar things he said and admonitions of different races; but now- it reaches a new level.

If there are things that the President does/says, use that as an example of how *not* to act. We called for an impeachment of a President who cheated on his wife, I do not see why we could not mobilize again should his actions as President so call for it. The reality is, he has been elected. Accept this fact, allow yourself to process it and move forward.

The reality is We, as a country, as a people, do not spend our days, weeks, and months, worrying about the "other". If it does not affect us, we are not concerned. We exist and operate in silos. This needs to stop. Instead of bashing your friends, coworkers, or family members for voting for Trump, learn the reasons why.

Instead of throwing your hands up and saying "Well, there goes the Affordable Care Act, there goes immigrants, and there goes Planned Parenthood: organize. There are TONS of PACs, (Political Action Committees) already in place, forums where you can get involved and be heard.
Were you out campaigning for your Presidential Candidate, explaining all of the reasons why she would be great for our country? No. We showed up one day, filled out a bubble- and expected the rest to go to plan.

It did not.

#5: Get Moving. (Quit Squawking, and Start Walking)


So instead of burying your head in the sand, joking that you are going to move to another country, or just plugging your ears and humming as loud as possible: 
find a group that represents your concerns and join them. If one does not exist- create it.
Join groups that have the inside scoop on legislation that will directly affect your interest, whether it be LGBTQ rights, Women's Rights, Immigrant's Rights, etc. The groundwork is there, but poorly supported.

No? Is that too much work?

Oh okay then, just go back to sharing screaming memes on Facebook and it will all pass over in about 4 years.

In all seriousness, take your time, regroup, and allow yourself to grieve. Then, use that fire and passion to get involved in a way, that I suspect, you never ever have before.

It's the only way.

Last, but certainly not least: have faith that we as a people will get through this. We could possibly come out the other side a better, more educated, and more understanding people.

It's always darkest before the dawn.



Thursday, February 19, 2015

On the Front Lines: Handling Secondary Trauma


Stress. I'm not really sure if the word 'stress' can be said to mean the same thing for Social Workers. There are a few buzz words we in the bizz' use to describe the amount of anxiety and unrest we experience in delivering services in the manner and environments that we do.

'Secondary Trauma' is one of the biggest terms you'll hear in relation to Social Workers in 'high-stress' situations (95% of us, I'd say.) I'd say one of the biggest terms we also hear is 'burnout'. How do we avoid 'burnout' as they say? What does 'burnout' mean any way? I'm pretty sure we've all experienced it at one point, or as you are reading this you may currently be, as they say, burnt out. They use this phrase in other professions as well, law enforcement officials (especially correction officers), members of the armed services, doctors, nurses, lawyers, judges, and a whole host of other professionals in our society experience this same phenomenon.

When I hear the phrases 'burnout' and 'secondary trauma' the first word that comes to mind (thanks to my graduate professors) is 'self-care'. Simply put, take care of yourself. It seems so simple, so easy. It's such a casual concept that often you'll hear people use it as a farewell; "Take Care!" "Hey you too!" But as we get older, it's anything but easy. In highly traumatic professions, I look at it as an act of undoing. All of the things we hear, all of the things we see, all of the things we feel; I liken them to layers of paint on old walls. Eventually, all of those layers hide and suffocate what's underneath, leaving it unrecognizable. What's underneath is our happiness, and too often, our sanity. Not to worry! There are ways of stripping this paint, or better yet, with enough practice we might be able to have a constant smock at the ready, that can be removed and set aside after a long day's work, leaving us clean and ready for the rest of our day, maybe a spot of paint here or there, nothing that a little soap and water can't fix.

So first, let's talk about what the manifestation of secondary trauma looks like.

First, the biological:
  • Headaches
  • Stomach Aches
  • Teeth-Clenching/Grinding (whether daytime or night-time) 
  • Nervous Habits (nail-biting, hair-pulling i.e. trichotillomania, skin-picking) 
  • Loss of Appetite or Increased Appetite 
  • Extreme Fatigue or Insomnia
Now, these are just some examples. This is by NO MEANS meant to be a diagnosis in lieu of care from your physician. However, most of us can tell when these things are brought on by the work that we are doing as opposed to actually diagnosable illness. (Once again, if you are feeling ill in any of the aforementioned ways and/or other ways, see your doctor.)

Second, the less biological:
  • Nightmares
  • Paranoia
  • Anxiety
  • Rage
  • Extremely low frustration tolerance
  • Depression (this can be biological as well, but for our purposes I'll leave it in this category)
  • Displacement (lashing out at those close to you)
I'm sure you're reading this and remembering your own symptoms, or the many ways you've felt coming home from a day that basically no one could ever have prepared you for. I think that, in and of itself, is the issue. You can hold all of the degrees, certificates, and trainings humanly possible, but nothing prepares you for things that come to you in the moments of our day. Nothing prepares you for a patient/client (depending on your setting) telling you that he was locked in a room for hours because his mother thought he was being possessed, or a client weeping in your arms having flashbacks of abuse, or a child coming up to you at the end of their school day and looking directly into your eyes and saying with glassy eyes, "I don't want to go home. Please, don't make me go."

We are the people who they call when children are being abused. We are the people expected to carry them out of their homes, pack up a bag of their things, and find them safe shelter for the night. We are the people they call when a student has just said out loud that they almost killed themselves last night.  We are the people others turn to when someone is battling addiction, has lost their job, home and family, and they now need someplace to stay.

These processes are completely non-existent to the general public. The inner-workings of the systems we navigate are dark, shadowy, and almost imaginary to your average Joe on the street. It isn't until you have been a physical working part of these systems, whether a service recipient or a service provider, that you really know what goes on.

Alas, I digress. We all know what it is we see, hear, feel, and experience day in and day out. Now, what to do about it? These are some of the things that I have found help me, and help some of my colleagues when we are at our breaking point.

  • Family- Now, for some us family might be an added stressor. However, for others, our family is our safe place, our haven, all that is warm, fuzzy, and true in the world. Make some time to spend with your family, when the world feels like it's spinning out of control.
  • Friends- How many times have you said this phrase, "I would absolutely love to go, but I'm just so exhausted. Work was insane this week, I think I'm just going to sit this one out." Right? WRONG! While we may feel like a sack of sorrow at the end of some days and weeks, changing our environment can make all the difference. I'm not saying going to a rave, get some kandi bracelets (that's a whole other blog post, if you don't know, Google it), and throw caution to the wind. But go OUT, have a drink, or go to a nice dinner, and most importantly LAUGH. I know they say laughter is the best medicine, and well, it's kind of true.
  • Your Zen- This sounds extremely vague, doesn't it? Truth is, there isn't a blog long enough in the world to list all the different kinds of Zen people have. What is Zen, you may ask? While there is, I'm sure, a much more precise and historically-based definition, to me, Zen is anything that successfully clears your mind. I'm talking about CLEARS your mind. Not the type of clear where there is an incessant buzz in the background, I'm talking about crystal clear, Jet-Dry clear, squeaky clean bleached white shirt out of the dryer clean. Some example for me are cooking, crafting (sewing, crocheting, knitting, making just about anything), dancing, working out, and reading. For me, these things really and truly clear my mind and allow me some time to just focus simply on what I am doing. One foot in front of the other concept. Like I said, there millions of things that provide Zen to people, you just have to find yours.
  • Dissassociating- I have a feeling that this one is going to be controversial, but as said previously, these things are my personal suggestions. For me, putting a certain proverbial distance between me and what happens at work every day, has made all of the difference. What I do is picture my work, my therapy sessions, as movies or television shows. Bare with me here, it will make sense in a minute. The same way you can watch a horrific movie or heart-breaking film and simply go home afterwards, this is how I look at my work sometimes; like a movie that when I leave my job, I hit pause. Tomorrow, I hit play again. It's really kind of a visual thing, it allows me to materialize what it is I do into something that can be left behind, and picked back up again. There are days I need it to stay there, I absolutely cannot take it with me. I'm sure you're family and friends have told you a million times "Ya know, you can't take work home with you." It's very easy to say that, and a whole other thing to walk away from work and literally, sometimes, there are lives hanging in the balance. Remember, there is only so much you can do. There are only so many of us on the front lines. 
I hope these things might help you along your way, and if they're things you already knew, then maybe they'll just act as a friendly reminder to you. Please feel free to add the ways that you 'strip off the paint' in your own life.


"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not." -Dr. Seuss

Friday, November 28, 2014

What Happens When You Actually Read the Grand Jury Testimony

image taken from this article found on the Huffington Post "Hands Up Don't Shoot".

As a Social Worker who works in East Harlem with students who hail from all different ethnic backgrounds the current climate surrounding this case has been palpable. Walking through the streets of NYC, specifically Harlem, in the days following the release of the Grand Jury's decision regarding Michael Brown is an experience that is almost beyond words. The upset, outrage, and fury are an undeniable presence in these streets.

As always is the case in 2014, my Facebook feed has been a constant stream of varying opinions regarding this case. My fellow Social Work friends post up a relentless stream of civil rights memes and human rights sentiments. My conservative acquaintances persist with as many random videos they can find of 'Blacks' committing heinous crimes, some from several years ago, anything they can find to hack down any identification people may be forming with this tragedy.

Caught as a bystander in the constant racial hail storm, I decided to default to what I used to do as a Sociology major in Hunter College. I did a case review. When I was a student in one of my Law classes, we were not allowed to speak about cases until we had read a majority of the actual case. So I happened upon St. Louis Public Radio's site that breaks down the Grand Jury Testimony on Michael Brown into bite size pieces ( and by bite size I mean around 100 pages). What I've gathered through the testimony from everyone, the Medical Examiner all the way down to Darren Wilson's himself is this:

Darren Wilson is indeed 'innocent' by the letter of the law. The law in Missouri allows for an officer to use deadly force when he/she is in fear of his/her own life. But what really did happen?

This is hard to grapple with as a Social Worker who is outraged by another young black youth losing his life at the hands of law enforcement. Because you see, as a Social Worker we advocate for those that are oppressed, those that are disadvantaged and those who lack basic human rights. The way the law is written offers a vast amount of gray area that spans what feels like a galaxy of space between what is allowed and what really 'should' be done. But therein lies the crux of this case. What should have been done?

Rumor # 1: Darren Wilson was patrolling after learning of the convenience store burglary and engaged Michael brown under the assumption that he was involved and guilty of said crime.

Reality in Testimony: Officer Wilson engaged Michael Brown and another youth with absolutely no knowledge of the previous crime. Officer Wilson testifies that he engaged Michael Brown and the other youth because they were walking in the street and he asked them to move onto the sidewalk.

So... this all happened essentially because these two boys were jay-walking in a quiet area of Ferguson?

Rumor #2: Michael Brown was shot a few times when Officer Wilson was in fear for his life.

Reality in Testimony: Officer Wilson testifies that Michael reached into his patrol car and was pummeling him with the strength of 'Hulk Hogan'. He testifies that he feared for his own life. Reportedly by Wilson, Brown reached for his weapon and it 'went off' in the patrol car, which startled Brown and he fled. Wilson then exited his car to give chase, however, Brown then (by Wilson's report) turned around and challenged him to shoot him. Then, started charging back towards Wilson which was the point at which he opened fire.

According to the Medical Examiner, Brown had nine wounds. NINE. Including one in the top his head, suggesting that Brown was in some type of submissive position.

Brown's body was approximately 100 feet from Wilson's patrol car. Wilson added in his testimony that at the same time that he started to 'charge' at him he reached for his waistband.

According to the Medical Examiner, the only things found in Brown's pockets were few dollars and a small amount of marijuana. No stolen goods and no weapons.

My Question:

Why would a young black male be silly enough to reach into a cop car, beat a cop, reach for his gun, give up and run away from the car, but then turn around and go back towards that same officer?

And IF that is indeed what happened, at that distance, Wilson no longer had a fear for his life, as Brown was more than far enough away to do any harm to him. Why couldn't he shoot him in the knees to incapacitate him? If Brown was armed from the beginning why wouldn't he have pulled his weapon on Officer Wilson when he was in point blank range allegedly beating him in the patrol car?

None of the facts add up at all, not even close. Eye witness accounts said the body was uncovered for many hours in the blistering heat. Wilson's supervising Officer reports that he covered up the body as soon as he reported on the scene. So which is it?

Bottom line: The law is written to protect those in power, which are the law enforcement. According to their story, which is that Brown attacked Wilson, (which I do not believe for one minute), Wilson can stretch everyone's imagination to say that he was in fear of his own life and end of story, the law protects him.

The real issue in the Grand Jury hearing was this: all of the statements given by Wilson and all of the supporting characters were taken at face value. The prosecutors were not prosecuting by any means.

Kathi Alizadeh and Sheila Whirley were two prosecutors appointed by St. Louis County. One of the very first things Ms. Alizadeh says in the opening statements was : "Some housekeeping notes to start. I'm going to pass out to you all, you all are going to receive a copy of a statute. It is section 563.046, and it is, it says law enforcement officers use of force in making an arrest. And it is the law on what is permissible, what force is permissible and when in making an arrest by a police officer."

At the onset, there is no question as to 'what' actually happened or what was going to happen, she sets up the entire jury to believe that the only issue that we should be looking at here is how much force is allowed by the law period. There is no thought of "Was he supposed to be making an arrest?" "Did Michael Brown actually break a law?" Just to name a couple of thoughts.

When you take the time to read all of the testimony, there are so many holes in the story that it would be like trying to plug up a sieve. All of the case has been organized perfectly into a little box that says 'Self-Defense' on it all of the players behind the scenes have drunk the Kool-Aid.

Conservatives and racists alike want to believe that this irate black kid attacked this officer and he's just another one who "doesn't respect authority". People who live and walk in these streets every day know better.

People want to shout, "What about black-on-black crime??! They are shooting each other every day!"

To them, I say, one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. The truth is that the temperature of law enforcement interactions with minorities has turned hostile and has spiraled out of control. Only someone incapable of sight would say that it has nothing to do with race.

Take the tragedy of Eric Garner's passing. The videos of his arrest and actual death are everywhere on the world wide web. Conservatives like to shout, "He was resisting arrest! They had to take him down, he should have just complied."

Again, I'll play devil's advocate sure, you can push me to say, okay, he did resist arrest which is illegal, so they took him down. However, as he's on the ground you can clearly see the moment when he passes. Does anyone lean down and take a pulse? Police Officers are all trained as first responders. No. Does anyone even look concerned that he might be dead? Not at all.

This is where the VALUE of the actual LIVES of minorities is absolutely non-existent. Here-in lies the problem. How do you quantify that? How do you write a law that says you have to care about killing innocent people of a different race? You can't. It doesn't exist. It is up to the individual to care about the next person, to value their place on this Earth. The penal code will always be written to excuse the law enforcement and vilify the alleged 'criminal'.

After all this reading I am sad down to my bones. I dedicate my life to lifting people up who are constantly trampled on. A job that pays less than being a secretary for a mid-level executive in corporate America. I don't know how to tackle this, I don't know where to begin. I can't help people love each other. I can't help people stop hating each other. I can't prevent people from believing, in their core, that some people's lives don't matter as much as others.

I am left, empty.


Sunday, November 23, 2014

 
 Welcome, welcome, welcome!

 Social Work Sound Board has expanded to a blog! 

As a Facebook page, www.facebook.com/socialworksoundboard has been expanding daily- I felt it was time to expand onto the blog platform.

My name is Vanessa and I am an school-based Social Worker in NYC. I come from a varied background of work with both adults and children. I am extremely excited to be enriching my career as a Pediatric Social Worker. As a woman, working in a deeply dimensional urban neighborhood, I am extremely excited to have a conversation about my work. One of Social Work Sound Board's main mantras is #letshaveaconversation. 

The mission of Social Work Sound Board, born this Summer of 2014, is to connect Social Workers everywhere. We are an amazing body of men and women who dedicate our lives to tackling issues that everyone else backs away from. As I'm sure you've already experienced, the things we do are beyond words. Our families don't understand it, our friends don't understand it. When people you know ask how was your day, you're often at a loss for words. It's okay, I know. I am too. 

But not here. Here, we can speak out. Here, together, we can tackle the issues that we can't possibly bring into the other arenas of our lives. We can talk about race and sexuality. We can talk about abuse, and transference. We can talk about inequality, and oppression. We can talk about trauma, and especially-secondary trauma. We can talk about therapeutic methods. We can share tips, stories, and resources. This isn't dinner conversation. Stories about our jobs are not the kind you casually share over a cup of coffee or lightly through text. They are real, they are heavy, and they now have a place.

This is our place. Why? Because we deserve one. We deserve a place we can go for help- because being that place that other people go to for help leaves us empty sometimes. Come here and recharge your batteries. Most importantly, please share this with your other Social Worker friends and colleagues. The conversation needs to get louder, and more people need to join it. 

Please! Do not turn around if you are not a Social Worker. EVERYONE is welcome here. In case you didn't know this about Social Workers, we love to talk to people. We like to experience peoples' stories. All are welcome to come and talk. I look forward to introducing myself to all of you and having a place to share my thoughts. 

 Thanks for stopping by this is just the beginning!

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot; nothing's going to get better. It's not."-Dr. Seuss